I don't particularly like to speak out in a pitiful voice what critical problems I've got about myself. In the meantime I make it a habit to write down some comments about them here in my blog where I needn't require any respondence from others, in order to make a vague record for my own good. Some day I may think of working on a more detailed one before losing the way of expressing my feelings and opinions. So far I haven't disclosed any specific information to most of the people I know in person. Well, I got an email from one of my old friends today. We're not so intimate these days and I sometimes feel there's a kind of reluctance in this relationship. Maybe it's because of my fault that I have to sigh heavily, otherwise she is so ignorant or innocent. Why the hell does she regard me as an icon of party animal??? When did I indicate that I always enjoy gatherings and I'm with a bunch of friends all the time??? I hit upon a good idea. I'm already dead and surrounded by buddy ghosts. That's why my mates are transparent.